Abusive Relationships & It Ends With Us

“JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE HURTS YOU DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN SIMPLY STOP LOVING THEM. IT’S NOT A PERSON’S ACTIONS THAT HURT THE MOST. IT’S THE LOVE. IF THERE WAS NO LOVE ATTACHED TO THE ACTION, THE PAIN WOULD BE A LITTLE EASIER TO BEAR.”

I am not a big fan of Hoover and I usually don’t rant much while describing a character but couldn’t stop myself writing about this book and probably I would rant a lot while writing about the characters here. But before starting with that, I just want to thank Colleen Hoover’s mother for being such a wonderful character and being the ultimate hero of this book. I confess, every inch of my heart is touched and my soul cried with Lily in the journey altogether.

Colleen Hoover wrote a wonderful story I must say!

To start with the line that can sum up the whole story I would say-

“Sometimes it is the one who loves you who hurts you the most.”

The character Lily hadn’t had an easy life but that never stopped her. She worked hard for the life she wanted. From Maine to Boston and starting a business of her own was possible only because of her hard work. Then Ryle came in Lily’s life and she felt a spark with this gorgeous neurosurgeon. Initially, Ryle seemed confident and had a vibe of forceful personality, was obtrusive and at times arrogant. Ryle was bright, sensitive and he had this soft spot for Lily, at least, that seemed in the beginning. And Lily went head over heels for Ryle and made all the exceptions of her nature that she wouldn’t have done in the first place. Here Ryle too showed Lily that he made an exception to his no dating rule, bullshit in my opinion.

I guess till this part we all can relate. To what extent we do push ourselves when we are in love.

Lily was very excited about Ryle but somewhere in her mind Atlas went on & off. And why wouldn’t he(Atlas), he was Lily’s her first love. Atlas was her akin spirit, her protector. And then Atlas reappears suddenly…

Honestly, when Lily met Ryle, I kinda figured that out that Ryle would be an abusive character, then still it made me breathless when it finally came. Because I prayed for Ryle be different and that didn’t happen.

Well, here’s why I guessed Ryle would be an abusive character-

1. Saying “I love you but…” not following through
2. Ignoring or excluding Lily.
3. Domination and control over Lily.
4. Extreme moodiness of Ryle.
5. Guilt trips of Ryle.

The naked truths hurt me. While I was reading Lily’s past diaries with her mother and father’s relationship, and then her relationship with her first love Atlas; it literally broke my heart.

I believed Lily would find Atlas again and the timing would be the worst one as usual.

I was sad for Lily, I was so sad when I saw Lily telling herself she wasn’t her mother and Ryle is not her father and somehow destiny struck. Time Lily and Ryle got married, I was like “No, Lily, no! What the f*** are you doing?” I was out of words finding out Lily’s pregnancy. I was like, God forbid! This child cannot have a father like Ryle.

I wouldn’t lie, in the beginnings of Ryle, I liked Ryle. He showed compassion and was so loving to Lily. Then he eventually showed who he is. I think that’s the thing with abuse and abusive relationship. It doesn’t come in these awful packages all the time. And with such smart & good looking guy people would never really be able to guess he could do such horrible things. Not only physical abuse he also mentally broke her into pieces.

I thought Ryle had the potential of being a great husband, and honestly, I crossed my fingers and prayed for Ryle to turn out as a good husband in the end, but here his past really affected him I guess. Then again here’s my question, can’t people just get over the past to be a better version?

Now, people might ask, do I think Ryle was sorry for hurting Lily? I would say, I think, Ryle was, maybe that’s what an abusive person does, they don’t realize the hurt they cause after they hurt someone. The sorry doesn’t really matter after the pain they cause!

I felt so sorry for Atlas in the beginning. He was not only the perfect one for Lily, he actually took all the effort for Lily and fulfilled all the promises only for the sake of Lily and to get her in his life. So, the ending was really a good one when the deserving ones get to end up with each other.

Lines through which I cried the most-

In the future… if by some miracle you ever find yourself in the position to fall in love again… fall in love with me.” He presses his lips against my forehead. “You’re still my favorite person, Lily. Always will be.”

This book is honestly a powerful book and thanks to Colleen Hoover for sharing such a heart-wrenching story.

“All humans make mistakes. What determines a person’s character aren’t the mistakes we make. It’s how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses.”